Firstly I’d like to say a huge congratulations in being here. It takes a lot of self awareness to admit personal areas for development – so you’re already demonstrating signs of emotional intelligence! For us to take action from this article, we need to understand what is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as effectively navigate and respond to the emotions of others. It involves a set of skills that encompass self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and strong interpersonal relationships.

You may be thinking, can you really fix low emotional intelligence? Absolutely. But you will need to put in the work. In this article, we’re going to be exploring ways to improve emotional intelligence and the five components of emotional intelligence, which includes the breakdown of self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

1. Understanding the components of emotional intelligence

Whilst we’ve given a brief overview of emotional intelligence, it does deeper than a one sentence summary. At its core, emotional intelligence is the capacity to navigate the intricate landscape of emotions.

The first step to achieving this is to have the ability of recognising your own feelings and knowing how to comprehend them. Understanding this component of emotional intelligence will enable you to manage your emotions, in turn allowing you to respond thoughtfully in various situations you find yourself in.

From a personal perspective, emotional intelligence will have a significant impact on your life as it has the power to shape the quality of your relationships and it influences effective communication.

On the other hand from a professional perspective, emotional intelligence plays a huge role in good leadership, teamwork and conflict resolution.

2. Self Awareness

Self awareness is the first of the five components of emotional intelligence. Self awareness if the ability to recognise and understand your emotions in real time. This is a great skill to have as it means there is a reduced difference between the response to a situation you wanted to have, and the response you actually had. Achieving this enables you to make conscious choices throughout your response, instead of the right outcome being delayed

There is a huge impact on personal growth when you obtain self awareness. Understanding our own strengths, weaknesses, and emotional triggers allows us to make informed decisions about our behaviour and interactions. Likewise, this gives us the holistic overview of ourselves to be able to break free from negative habitual patterns we may hold.

Your next question – and rightly so – is how can I improve my emotional intelligence and others? Well, this is where practical techniques comes into play.

Developing self reflection through reflection

We’ve all heard of journalling and the profound impacts it can have on our daily lives, but how many of us actually practice this? Journalling is an amazing way to regularly record your thoughts and emotions. Overtime, if you revisit your entries, you may also notice patterns and trends in your emotional responses to certain situations. This will give you an invaluable insight into yourself and in turn will help you to identify areas for improvements. Here are a few journal prompts you may want to consider after an event to get you started:

1. How am I feeling right now? Take a moment to identify and acknowledge your current emotional state.
2. What triggered my emotional response? Reflect on the circumstances or events that led to your emotional reaction.
3. Why did I react this way? Explore the underlying reasons and beliefs that contributed to your emotional response.
4. How could I have handled this situation differently? Understand the alternative ways you could have responded to the situation.
5. What emotions might others be experiencing in this situation? Extend your awareness beyond your own emotions to consider the perspectives of others.

Top Tip: Do not go through these questions light heartedly. Really take time to go through them to understand the why and the root cause to your emotions and response.

Try to foster a habit of thoughtful reflection. Making time for this in your daily routine will enable you to enhance your self-awareness – a great way to improve emotional intelligence.

3. Practicing emotional regulation

Whilst self awareness is all about knowing and understanding your emotions and reactions, emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control these emotions. It’s what you do with your emotions once you’re aware of them.

Incorporate mindfulness techniques

1. Mindful Breathing
   • Technique: Focus on your breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Pay attention to the sensation of each breath to anchor yourself in the present moment.
2. Body Scan Meditation
   • Technique: Mentally scan your body from head to toe, paying attention to any tension or sensations. This helps you become more aware of physical reactions to stress.
3. Guided Visualisation
   • Technique: Imagine a peaceful place or scenario in your mind, engaging all your senses. Visualisation can promote relaxation and a sense of calm.
4. Mindful Observation
   • Technique: Observe your surroundings without judgment. Notice the colours, shapes, and textures around you. This simple act enhances present-moment awareness.

Learn and apply emotional regulation strategies

1. Identify and Label Emotions
   • Strategy: When feeling overwhelmed, identify the specific emotion you’re experiencing. Labelling it, whether it’s stress, anger, or sadness, helps you gain control.
2. Cognitive Restructuring
   • Strategy: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking catastrophically, consciously replace those thoughts with more balanced and realistic ones.
3. Positive Self-Talk
   • Strategy: Create a positive inner dialogue. Encourage yourself with affirmations and supportive language, especially during challenging situations. This will come more naturally in time!
4. Time-Outs and Breaks
   • Strategy: If emotions escalate, take a break. Step away from the situation to cool down. It may seem like you can’t but trust us, you can. Use this time to gather your thoughts and return with a calmer perspective. Easier said than done, I must admit.
5. Express Emotions Constructively
   • Strategy: Find healthy ways to express emotions, such as talking to a friend, journaling, or engaging in a creative outlet. This prevents emotions from building up in the first place.

4. Empathy building

Empathy is a powerful tool that enables you to foster deeper connections and understanding in both personal and professional relationships. So, what is empathy? Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, perceiving the world from their perspective, and connecting with how they feel. Empathy goes beyond sympathy, as it requires not only recognising another person’s feelings but also experiencing a sense of shared understanding and compassion. Explore meaningful ways to improve emotional intelligence through empathy building.

7 Ways to develop empathy

1. Active Listening: Give your full attention when others are speaking and avoid interrupting and focus on understanding them
2. Practice Perspective-Taking: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand their feelings and experiences to consider different viewpoint
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share more about their emotions and ask questions that prompt detailed responses.
4. Observe Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and gestures.
5. Express Empathy Verbally: Use empathetic statements to convey understanding and support.
6. Read Literature and Watch Films: Literature and films can offer insights into different lives and perspectives, enhancing your empathetic understanding.
7. Participate in Diverse Experiences: Engage in activities that expose you to different cultures, backgrounds, and lifestyles.

Examples of showing empathy

Here are examples of what showing empathy may look like:

• I hear you’ve been going through a tough time, and I’m here for you. How can I support you?
• I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit down lately. Is there anything specific on your mind that you’d like to talk about?
• It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now. I want you to know that I care about you, and I’m here to lend an ear or a helping hand

5. Continuous learning

Emotional intelligence is not not something that is fixed. It evolves and can grow overtime, if you nurture it to. Experiences, feedback and intentional efforts all play a role in shaping and refining this. Dive into various ways to improve emotional intelligence and foster personal growth:

• Growth mindset – View challenges as opportunities for growth
• Utilise learning resources – Read books, articles and research to deepen your understanding of EI
• Attend a workshop – Interactive sessions provide practical tools and strategies
• Seek feedback and reflect – Get feedback from peers, mentors or those close to you. Reflect on your own interactions and experiences to identify areas for improvement
• Apply all learnings in real life situation – This will need to be a conscious thought to begin with, but will become more natural in time

Conclusion

Congratulations on starting on the journey to improve your emotional intelligence. In this article we explored its core components—self-awareness, mindfulness, empathy, and continuous learning—each offering valuable insights for personal and professional growth.

Hopefully we have shed light on the fact that you can fix low emotional intelligence. We’ve explored several ways to improve emotional intelligence and if you spend a sufficient amount of time going through them, we promise you’ll only have positive results.